Million Dollar Question.
In order to be happy and satisfied with Life then this question assumes utmost importance. If one comes to know what he wants then achieving that aim is not that complicated because then he can divert all his energy towards that aim. However most of the times we are not sure what we want. We oscillate between various aims and ultimately fail to achieve all of them.
So if one does not want to end up as an Eternal Loser then he should find out what exactly is desired by him. To achieve this understanding he should ask himself two questions:
- What I want?
- Do I really want this or I am under some external influence?
Here the second question is very tricky as there are so many instances when one tend to like something because other people like it or one is expected to like it. For example, one may assume that money acquisition is his aim due the fact that all of his friends are Money-Minded. Similarly if one is good in academics then he can wrongly believe that "his" aim is be a Civil Servant but may be he never wanted that and as every one expects from him to be "Someone Big" and in India that generally means "District Magistrate". Some times arrogance and stupidity can also make you believe that you like some particular goal. For example, I started to prepare for Civil Services merely because I wanted to prove my academic supremacy over my friends. Now some may call this stupidity some may say it is arrogance but to me it is arrogance with more than a pinch of stupidity.
But somehow one solves the first two problems and somehow delineates that what he want and also becomes doubly sure that he actually wants this without any outside pressures and expectations still the problem remains. This time the source of problem is basic human nature. Human Nature is Dynamic and it simply changes. So it is a very realistic scenario that one may like something but during the process of achieving that he realizes that his world view, vision, aim and interests have changed and now he desires some other Goal (sometimes this new goal can be tangentially opposite to the earlier Goal). Though he can be charged of having fickle and confused mind but in reality both of his goals are equally real and honest, they got changed not because of immaturity but rather because some new variable or understanding has made way into his Grand understanding about Life.
Similarly one other problem may arise that is also very much an outcome of human nature. "More a dream seems achievable. Less desirable it becomes." Closer we become to a desired object, more of its negative aspects become pronounced to us. This dilutes the desirability of goal. If one can't understand that this dip in desirability of "once-so-Cherished-Dream" is very natural then this can cause so much resentment and pain to the person. This also affects (weakens) person's resolve and efforts toward the goal. This makes the goal achievement difficult and interestingly these increased difficulties make the goal interesting again. This process of oscillation in desirability of goal may be repeated many times and each time causes wasteful efforts. Repetition depends on how real, true and basic the goal is to the person and Very Real. True and Basic goals show less oscillation. It leads less wastage of efforts, efforts that would have been wasted in case of Phony, imposed or Copied Goals.
So I think one should first decide what he really wants and then only venture to achieve his dreams. Easier said then done, off course, afterall the biggest and toughest journey is the Journey into Self.
